Pet Rescue Barbi 

Just for fun - Circulating the Internet
Author unknown

Posted 06/24/2006 


*Pet Rescue Barbie*
 
This Christmas season, give the latest, hottest new Barbie -- K-9 Rescue
Barbie or Cat Rescue Barbie.

She comes with her own Ford Aerostar van, and various size dog crates
inside.
She has a cell phone that's barely working due to over use and
underpayment.    

Barbie herself is decked out in jeans, grungy athletic shoes, and a
t-shirt that says "Dogs are Better Than Any Other Living Thing on
Earth".
She comes with a road atlas of every town and state in all of North
America, and a compass on the dashboard of the van.

Optional is the special Rescue Dog Barbie laptop computer with the names
and addresses of every other dog rescue person on earth, in case she
gets somewhere and a contact fails to show up.    
Running buddy, "Lucky", the three-legged, blind Shih Tzu doll is
available for an additional $49.95.    

For $89.95, you can complete the set with "Pissed off husband at home,
Ken," and the various foster dogs at $20 each.    

Prices for other accessories are:
Fake snow falling on Barbie's van: $12.95
Flat tire for Barbie's van: (see Barbie's Road Service")
Barbie's First Aid Kit: (human): $11.75, (canine): $69.50
Barbie's Speeding Ticket: $95 (Mississippi--$195)
Barbie's coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota: $85
Barbie's Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn, New Mexico: $63.45
Barbie's contact, Rhonda, who she had to give gas money to in Mesa
Verde, Texas: $20.
Barbie's bill to get her contact, Luis, out of jail in Bakersfield,
California: $500.
Barbie's bill to get Luis's dogs out of the pound in Bakersfield,
California: $265.
Barbie's hotel/kennel bill in Laughlin, Nevada, while she waits for her
contact:$532.
Barbie's overalls that she has to buy while in Minden, Nebraska, hunting
down lost coonhounds: $49.95
Pizza for Barbie's suspicious looking hitch-hiker with sick puppy: $15
Vet bill for hitch-hiker's sick puppy in Des Moines, Iowa: $143.29
Barbie's doggie wheelchair for "Klaus" the rescue dachshund in
Leavenworth, Kansas: $143.
Barbie's van detailing/fumigation from hauling parvo/kennel cough
puppies: $187.
Barbie's resume to get new job when she gets home from run: $29.95    

And her sister doll - Cat Rescue Barbie, who comes with the same
equipment, (substitute "cat" for "dog"), also:

Folding ladder in vehicle: $129.95
Have-a-heart trap: $29.95
Cans of tuna for baiting trap: $11.95
Long handled fishing net: $39.95
Case of Simple Solution: $259.95
Black light (to detect cat urine): $29.95
Tee shirt that says "The More I Know About Men, The More I Love My Cat"
$19.95
Running buddy "Jeep" - 3-legged tailless cat named after vehicle that
claimed her missing appendages: $89.95
Vet bill for Jeep $397.95
Friend Edith, 87-year-old feral colony feeder, who calls begging favors
when her arthritis acts up and she can't get out. $59.95
Food for Edith's colony cats (after all, Edith is on Social Security)
$139.95
Friend Margie, do-gooder with pristine home and one spoiled cat, whose
idea of being a rescuer is to pick up strays and take them to Barbie for
rehab, vetting, fostering, and placement. $89.95
Vet bills for Margie's rescues $892.95
Mother Sadie, who calls weekly to ask Barbie when she is getting rid of
those smelly cats and giving her some grandchildren $ 89.95(telephone
extra)
Shrink who talks Barbie out of killing above-mentioned persons each week
$500

Vet who makes house calls, refuses to perform declaw surgeries and
doesn't blink at unannounced visits or odd-hour consultations:
*priceless*

REAL:  Rescue Barbi video game:  Amazon.com